Okay, here’s a rundown on the process for getting a license in Japan. It varies according to what country you’re from. It has something to do with international agreements on license exchange and the U.S. loses out for reasons unclear to me. There are several theories online of why this is, but each one seems to be canceled out by another one. All I really know is that it made my four decades of driving in the U.S. insufficient experience for driving a motor scooter in Japan.

First, I had to get a paper from my city government office that showed that I lived where I said I lived. No matter that I had just gone through the two-week process of getting an official alien registration card with the same information on it. Couldn’t use that... The official paper costs about $2.

Next I had to get my California license officially translated at a JAF office (Japan Automobile Federation) - $30. Because of my work schedule and general ignorance of where to go and what to ask for, my friend Yoh-san took care of that for me by taking a morning off from his experiments and riding the train to some faraway city where said office is conveniently located. He also picked up a book for me called Rules of the Road, a well-translated English version of Japanese driving regulations - another $10. Yoh-san also ordered a book online for me that had several practice tests in English - another $20.

I had a weekend to study the tests before Mitsuru-san took a Monday off to drive me to the licensing building - hereafter called the Menkyo Center. I had read online that the gentsuki (scooter, remember?) test was 50 questions and the first three practice tests were 50 questions, too, so that’s what I spent my weekend studying. (Actually, I had also read somewhere that the test was only ten questions. That’s what I was hoping for).

The books were pretty straightforward, except for a couple of things. For example, overtaking and passing are two different things. Overtaking is passing something slower without crossing into oncoming lanes.

This happens quite a lot here, with lots of bicycles and scooters as well as pedestrians on the road. Outside of the big cities, sidewalks don't always exist. I think this is a holdover from the past. The streets are actually for pedestrians. The vehicles are just allowed to use them, too.

Passing is the crossover into the other lane. There are just slightly different signs prohibiting each. Also, there are three different signs that mean 1) road closed to all vehicles, 2) road closed to vehicles, and 3) no entry. The book did not do a good job explaining the difference, or the need, for that matter. In addition, the English translation for these signs on the practice test was a bit garbled. True or false - this sign means cars cannot enter. False - it means ‘No entry’. They throw little technicalities like that at you for no other reason than trying to trick you.

Well, the weekend just flew by with me trying to figure out things like that and bright and too early Monday morning, Mitsuru-san showed up at my apartment to take me to the Menkyo Center, conveniently located in the middle of nowhere about an hour’s drive from my town. That’s not really fair, I guess. I’m sure it’s very convenient for the people living in the town in which it’s located. That just doesn’t happen to be my town.

So we drive the hour and arrive in plenty of time to start the process of converting a foreign license, which takes place only between the hours of 9:30 and 11. We found the correct office and sat down to wait our turn. Next - the Menkyo Center.

Here's the graphics posting for today. An interesting use of English... We can get the idea, anyway, but kind of creepy, isn't it? It's got a Rolling Stones feel to it, but why? The thing is, what is this stuff called? Can you go down to the store and ask if they've got any Xylish in stock? Another example of English that isn't really.

As far as living in Japan goes, what can I tell you today? I eventually managed to get a real contract at work. It took a while. If you remember, I came to Japan on a tourist visa and couldn’t get paid until I had a contract and couldn’t get a contract until I got a work visa and couldn’t get a work visa until the paperwork came back from I don’t know where, and THEN couldn’t get a work visa incountry and had to go to Korea for a few days to get that done. When I came back, now that I had a visa, I had to register with my local council, I guess you’d call it, city government, anyway, and get my gaijin card - an official driver’s-license type card that tells the government exactly who you are and where you live and even who you work for. Very 1984. That took another couple of weeks. In the meantime, I bought that scooter I mentioned earlier, just for getting around a little more quickly and easily.

Well, that was my plan. I bought the scooter, yes, with a lot of help in translation from another friend from the university, Mitsuru-san. It’s all registered and licensed and insured, BUT they won’t let me drive it. Turns out that the driving license process is a lot more complicated than you would think it should be. I’ve got a lot to say on that next, but basically, I can’t drive on my California license, understandable, I suppose, and I can’t use an International Driver’s Permit because I’m now registered as a resident. I have to take a driver’s test in Japan, also understandable, but not even close to easy. That process is going to be a whole nother day’s writing.

The thing is, I decided to drive the scooter anyway the day after I got it - just to the university and back. I thought, well, if I get stopped, I’ll just show them my CA license and explain the situation and they’ll let me off with a warning. No big deal.

When I got to school, I checked the internet to see just what the penalty was for driving without a license in Japan, and it is actually a very big deal indeed. The penalties are, and this is true, a $3,000 fine, a year in prison, and deportation. I suppose those are imposed at the discretion of the judge, but, oh, wow. I drove back home very slowly and carefully and the bike has remained parked outside my apartment house for a month now while I try to get a scooter (gentsuki) license.

I will try to describe the level of hell they put you through next time.